Often, you don't even realise how the slightest actions you do affect me.
Aww lack of courage to express how I feel.
So lately I've been texting' & pretty much burdening yet another listening ear.
It's comforting, but how long can this last?
Things may end up the way it used to be, departure after months of contact.
Thinking too much? It's simply guarding your heart.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
I just wanted to say.
" Some people you can laugh, smile and talk together with but should never open your heart to. "
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Results
This is an extremely sensitive issue so immense caution to be exercised is advised.
Long lengthy post.
Drained and exhausted,
Not in the physical sense but the emotional way.
Used to assume people who break down over results are really those who " ηδΈεΌ."
Until you experience it yourself.
Case 1: For some, they break down ( shall not use cry ) 'cos they did not meet their expected target ( say A1)
All I can say is from the POV of a third party, ( not me) , it is extremely irking to see that.
However, before you judge. Yes, she might be reacting but you do not know her story.
Case 2: On the other hand, some break down 'cos they don't pass. By pass, I mean obtaining a 50%
Yeah and when they cannot sccept it, They get judged. Get blamed for not working hard enough, over expecting.
So, morale of story. " you can't please anyone ( not everyone anymore).
Long lengthy post.
Drained and exhausted,
Not in the physical sense but the emotional way.
Used to assume people who break down over results are really those who " ηδΈεΌ."
Until you experience it yourself.
Case 1: For some, they break down ( shall not use cry ) 'cos they did not meet their expected target ( say A1)
All I can say is from the POV of a third party, ( not me) , it is extremely irking to see that.
However, before you judge. Yes, she might be reacting but you do not know her story.
Case 2: On the other hand, some break down 'cos they don't pass. By pass, I mean obtaining a 50%
Yeah and when they cannot sccept it, They get judged. Get blamed for not working hard enough, over expecting.
So, morale of story. " you can't please anyone ( not everyone anymore).
Prioritising
Spent my first 90th day talking over the phone ( yet again ) for two running hours.
Served as a temporary relief / blockade to the influx of problems.
Why Jaslyn why.
Served as a temporary relief / blockade to the influx of problems.
Why Jaslyn why.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Acknowledgment
Those times when you try so hard just to gain approval from someone who doesn't even bother to acknowledge your efforts.
Only the favourites get recognised and credited.
Is it really that difficult?
Only the favourites get recognised and credited.
Is it really that difficult?
It's the way you talk.
Did some HCL TYS compre about how talking is very important.
How some people can say very little , yet have a tremendous impact on others.
Was surprised by a call while attempting to work on physics TYS last night and spent around 1h talking..
Honestly it's been a long time since anyone even bothered to initiate a phone call with me.
Can't be blamed , for everyone's too immersed in this 6 pointer race.
Thankful and appreciative. Though caller stated and claimed that it'll be a "come and go " friendship.. I just felt that.. I learnt a lot of things.
Seemingly, I just contradicted myself.
" be careful of who you open up to. Once someone knows your weakness you become vulnerable "
" let it go" was an advice given many times by different individuals.
Walking into a wall and learning things through the hard way may indeed be beneficial in the long run.
Never said this before but for a period of time I really felt so sick in ( insert subject) tuition 'cos everybody was so smart and I just couldn't grasp the concept.
Sigh. Should get back to consistent studying.
How some people can say very little , yet have a tremendous impact on others.
Was surprised by a call while attempting to work on physics TYS last night and spent around 1h talking..
Honestly it's been a long time since anyone even bothered to initiate a phone call with me.
Can't be blamed , for everyone's too immersed in this 6 pointer race.
Thankful and appreciative. Though caller stated and claimed that it'll be a "come and go " friendship.. I just felt that.. I learnt a lot of things.
Seemingly, I just contradicted myself.
" be careful of who you open up to. Once someone knows your weakness you become vulnerable "
" let it go" was an advice given many times by different individuals.
Walking into a wall and learning things through the hard way may indeed be beneficial in the long run.
Never said this before but for a period of time I really felt so sick in ( insert subject) tuition 'cos everybody was so smart and I just couldn't grasp the concept.
Sigh. Should get back to consistent studying.
Friday, July 20, 2012
6 down and finally over.
That feeling you get when you realise you wrote an entirely wrong story.
That sinking feeling you experience when realise that you're the only one.
That desperate feeling to control your emotions to prevent any judgment for being over paranoid / insecure /not confident / over expecting.
Going around in circles.
No more second chance.
Move on.
/edit/ just as I was typing this,
Sheryl's encouragement text came.
No idea how thankful/ appreciative I am for such small actions it's really things like these that touch the heart.
Thank you.
That sinking feeling you experience when realise that you're the only one.
That desperate feeling to control your emotions to prevent any judgment for being over paranoid / insecure /not confident / over expecting.
Going around in circles.
No more second chance.
Move on.
/edit/ just as I was typing this,
Sheryl's encouragement text came.
No idea how thankful/ appreciative I am for such small actions it's really things like these that touch the heart.
Thank you.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
95, 46 days to go
Doesn't even feel like a thursday today.
We're dismissed at 2.15 & are officially CCA-less.
Last Sunday's studying w Jing at Central Lending Library was pretty productive. Managed to get Salted Caramel for the first time and it was oh so good.
Several visuals which are from Instagram and one from Tumblr then Instagram.
Yet another 3 people who have entered my life are soon stepping into the zone of " existed once in your life"
Achieving what I expected so far. Though a humble mentality is needed.
Photoshoot for the grad photo over, Class Grad video done.
Recognition.
Not only serves as a form of encouragement but also appreciation.
Ps : do you miss me the way I miss you?
Today I am thankful for
1) A dedicated AM uncle
2) My mum
Ending this post w an abrupt signing off.
We're dismissed at 2.15 & are officially CCA-less.
Last Sunday's studying w Jing at Central Lending Library was pretty productive. Managed to get Salted Caramel for the first time and it was oh so good.
Several visuals which are from Instagram and one from Tumblr then Instagram.
Yet another 3 people who have entered my life are soon stepping into the zone of " existed once in your life"
Achieving what I expected so far. Though a humble mentality is needed.
Photoshoot for the grad photo over, Class Grad video done.
Recognition.
Not only serves as a form of encouragement but also appreciation.
Ps : do you miss me the way I miss you?
Today I am thankful for
1) A dedicated AM uncle
2) My mum
Ending this post w an abrupt signing off.
Monday, July 9, 2012
For all the times.
Okay yeah that was like a tight slap and it really woke me up.
I obviously don't blame you for it.
It's the hurtful exchange of words probably reflected how much we meant to each other.
Think I deserve everything though.
" the moment you change will be the moment you are finally free"
-like she doesnt want to.
I obviously don't blame you for it.
It's the hurtful exchange of words probably reflected how much we meant to each other.
Think I deserve everything though.
" the moment you change will be the moment you are finally free"
-like she doesnt want to.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Typed memory
3 will always be an awkward number
But well, since you made it that way, we have to accept it.
Till now, I still fail to comprehend why you left us in the first place.
Contrary to the above said two short paragraphs, I left an organisation, but with reasons. Till this day, some regrets still surface of what could have been but really detest myself for not standing up and being stronger to all their cold treatments.
Being absorbed and thrown into RTs after RTs isn't exactly a bad thing
Not only do you get to reinforce facts ( stating the obvious ) but also at the same time neglect superficial stuff ( judgmental comments what not) from the outside world.
Dance module for this term and so far everything's pretty amazing and interesting. Jazz , Time for Miracles , Adam Lambert, Mdm Lim, Dance studio.
Free time abets more time to let your train of thoughts to wander carefree.
Am really grateful & appreciative of dedicated teachers ( EL, A/E-M, HCL , Chem)
Needless to say time is running out ( time inversely proportional to work load. ) Seemingly getting caught up in dreamy post O's ambitions ( get a job , catch up with life , acquire so much more skills)
Sidetrack
Emotional turmoil went through somewhat put me in a better and less vulnerable position to face up to reality and overcome challenges (learning not to care that much about other's comments , " you can't please everyone". )
HOGC with Jayesslee last weekend with Rs and tried Mc Spciy for the first time. Caramel Frappe FTW too.
Was separated from Jingwen and it was awkward when your ex third language friend ( ex since I quit moe LC already, regrettably ) approaches you and ask if you have a deeper r/s with him. If you know what I mean.
Read through our past messages ( A & B) and realised all the misconceptions we were giving to others ( A for O's period back then , B for O's period now)
Morale of the story is that some people leave to make room for better people :)
Trying to store all I can as a reminiscing point for me in the near future :)
Qing gong Yan on this coming Thursday and not exactly knowing what to feel. Encompasses and harbours my 3.5 years of SNCO memories ( be it good/bad) [ subconsciously thinking of how Mrs Tian reminds us time and again not to be vague and talk in long sentences ] and no word can ever describe how I feel.
Liuqin Instrument Leader '12, will you be ready to shoulder the responsibilities and rise up to carry the burden of having no red badge ( sec 3) to be alongside with you?
Guess some things have yet to be sorted out.
Have yet ( till now) to muster the courage to confess to you everything ( confess always brings about some connection to liking someone but no in this case). How you left both of us behind and without thinking sat with the rest. Will you even be reading this?
Am seated comfortably with the ever so elegant Ms Xinyi rn in class. A good motivator, strength of support, responsible girl.
Finally had a closure to Physics SPA last friday of my entire secondary school life ( could still vividly recall how badly my emotions were managed during SPA I and broke down after seeking help from teacher ) .
Sports carnival '12 was undoubtedly the best with all the cheerleaders and their sexy moves :) though green's the first from the back π , I spent my 10th and last sports day in SN with no regrets [ Pocari sweat + sunshine cocoa hazelnut bun for refreshments oh yeah ] . Blue house props were really pretty. Rained and teachers' race was cancelled which was such a pity and disappointment.
On a much lighter note, I'm learning to embrace Mrs Tan's "Positive Supportive Considerate "values and have learnt to say " I can't solve it YET" ESP for physics Qns :)
Keep moving Jaslyn, don't let yourself down. Most importantly, keep the promise you made to B.
Finally, may God bless you always wherever you are. Though you may have left us ( not referring to the previously mentioned person at the start of this post) , a part of you will always remain with us. Take care and manage well.
Learning to take things one step at a time.
But well, since you made it that way, we have to accept it.
Till now, I still fail to comprehend why you left us in the first place.
Contrary to the above said two short paragraphs, I left an organisation, but with reasons. Till this day, some regrets still surface of what could have been but really detest myself for not standing up and being stronger to all their cold treatments.
Being absorbed and thrown into RTs after RTs isn't exactly a bad thing
Not only do you get to reinforce facts ( stating the obvious ) but also at the same time neglect superficial stuff ( judgmental comments what not) from the outside world.
Dance module for this term and so far everything's pretty amazing and interesting. Jazz , Time for Miracles , Adam Lambert, Mdm Lim, Dance studio.
Free time abets more time to let your train of thoughts to wander carefree.
Am really grateful & appreciative of dedicated teachers ( EL, A/E-M, HCL , Chem)
Needless to say time is running out ( time inversely proportional to work load. ) Seemingly getting caught up in dreamy post O's ambitions ( get a job , catch up with life , acquire so much more skills)
Sidetrack
Emotional turmoil went through somewhat put me in a better and less vulnerable position to face up to reality and overcome challenges (learning not to care that much about other's comments , " you can't please everyone". )
HOGC with Jayesslee last weekend with Rs and tried Mc Spciy for the first time. Caramel Frappe FTW too.
Was separated from Jingwen and it was awkward when your ex third language friend ( ex since I quit moe LC already, regrettably ) approaches you and ask if you have a deeper r/s with him. If you know what I mean.
Read through our past messages ( A & B) and realised all the misconceptions we were giving to others ( A for O's period back then , B for O's period now)
Morale of the story is that some people leave to make room for better people :)
Trying to store all I can as a reminiscing point for me in the near future :)
Qing gong Yan on this coming Thursday and not exactly knowing what to feel. Encompasses and harbours my 3.5 years of SNCO memories ( be it good/bad) [ subconsciously thinking of how Mrs Tian reminds us time and again not to be vague and talk in long sentences ] and no word can ever describe how I feel.
Liuqin Instrument Leader '12, will you be ready to shoulder the responsibilities and rise up to carry the burden of having no red badge ( sec 3) to be alongside with you?
Guess some things have yet to be sorted out.
Have yet ( till now) to muster the courage to confess to you everything ( confess always brings about some connection to liking someone but no in this case). How you left both of us behind and without thinking sat with the rest. Will you even be reading this?
Am seated comfortably with the ever so elegant Ms Xinyi rn in class. A good motivator, strength of support, responsible girl.
Finally had a closure to Physics SPA last friday of my entire secondary school life ( could still vividly recall how badly my emotions were managed during SPA I and broke down after seeking help from teacher ) .
Sports carnival '12 was undoubtedly the best with all the cheerleaders and their sexy moves :) though green's the first from the back π , I spent my 10th and last sports day in SN with no regrets [ Pocari sweat + sunshine cocoa hazelnut bun for refreshments oh yeah ] . Blue house props were really pretty. Rained and teachers' race was cancelled which was such a pity and disappointment.
On a much lighter note, I'm learning to embrace Mrs Tan's "Positive Supportive Considerate "values and have learnt to say " I can't solve it YET" ESP for physics Qns :)
Keep moving Jaslyn, don't let yourself down. Most importantly, keep the promise you made to B.
Finally, may God bless you always wherever you are. Though you may have left us ( not referring to the previously mentioned person at the start of this post) , a part of you will always remain with us. Take care and manage well.
Learning to take things one step at a time.
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